March 16, 2006
bearded lady
recently geoerge clooney called and asked if I would grow a beard like he did in Syriana for reason unexpressed at the time.....I told him that this would mean filleting my goatee and that I would have to give it some wine.....a change, I thought, might be good, especially against a background check, I rang him back and said I would undergo the transformation ..for the usual fee.....Variety magazine called for an interview on the matter but I declined on moral grounds and a broken toenail which needed a dentist......
The Beard is coming soon
D.
Posted by Drexler at 05:09 PM
January 22, 2006
a bottle of red
I do not believe in new years resolutions
but I have decided to set a goal
or something like that
One day
in Pisco, Peru
I spilled my guts
38 times
because of something mysterious
in the lettuce
I also purchased a bottle
of 2003 Casillero del Diablo
Cabernet Savignon
and am not going to drink it
until Dec 31st 2006
I will carry it all over this god damn rock
and not fuck with the cork
If I can do this
then I deserve to drink it on New Years eve
A great challenge for a drunk like myself
and something to look forward to in a time
when I have no idea hwere I will be
or how I will be doing it
that is all
for now
D.
Posted by Drexler at 03:23 PM
November 30, 2005
dental tools and cheap vodka
when you finally have some good mixer for your booze, many bad ideas appear to be good, or at least, plausible. From the terrace where I guzzled my vodka\lemonada Id noticed a dentist supply store across the way. Well didnt I always feel like I could clean my teeth better than those jokers in the white bibs with the huge magnifying glass? All I needed were the properly shaped tools and someone stupid enough to sell them to me. I pointed to the dusty looking thing in the display case and the terrified looking man said it was a dollar and a half.....upstair blood and vodka flowed freely into the sink in the hallway and I can only wonder what the other guests thought was happening as they passed by the surgeon....then I crawled into bed and watched some scrambled black and white porn until blood coagulated elsewhere....The next morning after tracking down some worthless money at the market the wife stepped into a vetinarian supply shop and bought a bottle of ketamin for $7.....If I live to be fourty my mortician will be very surprised...why do the argentine women look like that, like life isnt cruel enough with mauled infants in the arroyo and broken bottles of $200 rum, they have to go and make these latin sultanas with there split tails and polished opals? Fuck my eyes.....as long as the money keeps mysteriously falling out of the ATM then the USA can kiss my green eggs and ham....beer time is just beginning to fall over the lid of the acacia, I must go and seize the moment..
D.
Posted by Drexler at 02:15 PM
November 24, 2005
how to score with a broken glass of varnish
a pair of dogs fucking under the wicker mesh
the hombre slips underneath the bitch like someone shoved a chair beneath him, instead of out from under him...but his tallywacker doesnt become disengaged and now they are facing opposite directions somehow, twitching like crackheads and as confused as siamese twins.
the wife takes her washed up unemployment credit card to the ATM for a laugh and really begins laughing when its spits out seven hundred dollars for no apparent reason...we bought a liter of cuban rum and a couple captive necklaces we had our eyes on...also, the rasta that sold Nicole her necklace part times as a newspaper delivery boy, the issue we purchased had a very nice fold out on page six which contained a banana sized chunk of weed. This newspaper cost $9, about the same as a french copy of Vogue at an airport news stand.....
I sat down at a table and ordered something for dinner, what i got was a mashed potato slab sculped to look like a lobster and filled with chunks of shrimp...where am I?.....
In the mornings I go down to the beach to watch the surfers nearly amputate one another..however the girls seem more interested in the rip curls than curling irons...my hat is off to them....
I go to the market and buy green peppers, red peppers, orange chiles and red chiles and them some onions and garlic.. then I throw it all to Nicole , who I lock in the kitchen with a box of linguine..."As soon as you make it right you can see the sun"
Diazapam costs ten cents for ten miligrams and I eat them like handfuls of Reeces Peices...then I trace the formats of mahogany skinned girls whose bathing suits seem rude and perhaps even vulgar; standing in the way of the eyes of invention...it would all make some fine chop over a night near the campfire with a bottle of wine and fallatio....
I have no idea why the vultures are waiting so long for things to fail, by the looks of things they will be eating each others bones in the end....
We rolls joints with licorice papers and stroll darkened promenades by the shore looking for a cove to smoke them, near dimly lit tents and restless dogs....we go to the milk bar and order drafts and a table of backgammon to keep the wandering eyes in my pants as a blonde nymph writhes on the couch in her jean skirt and exposes her innocent panties to the civilized world whose wires are sparking and short circuiting over the injustice of the moment, no fingers or tumblers dare be nimble enough to reply...
D.
Posted by Drexler at 09:01 AM
November 10, 2005
el rey del burrito
I must drop a note here for posterity, one day when my remaining brain cells are drowned out in the vodka mush I will have proof of todays meal at El Rey del Burrito...On the way into town on the bus yesterday we saw a sign for Burrito´s, I made a mental note where it was and hoped we would be within striking distance of the place from our hotel. After spending the day roaming around the city and buying supplies for tomorrows train ride (tickets, chilean wine, sourdough bread, peanut butter)we found the burrito place and decided to have lunch there. The food in Ecuador is pretty repetitive, usually its a piece of chicken or beef, white rice, menestra beans and french fries. The chance of having a real burrito did not take much brain work. Looking over the menu we saw that the price were pretty close to what they would be in the states but we thought we`d treat ourselves. Ordering foriegn food in local restaurants has not always worked out well for me but you have to try sometimes I suppose, just to keep the statistics honest if nothing else. I ordered the El Rey Burrito, which is the house specialty. Its supposed to be King size. Nicole ordered the vegitarian burrito...We waited, we drank beer, we feared the coming of the food....Nicoles came, served on a food long wooden board with three wells carved out in it, each filled with lettuce and cheese, guacamole, and pico de gallo...her burrito was in a foot long home made flour tortilla...vegetables and melrted cheese were spilling out of both ends...before we could recover enough to comment my block was brought, except that my block was 2 feet long, just like my burrito...after we quiet giggling and staring in astonishment we cut into them with the steak knives and fork that were supplied. In one end of mine was shredded chicken with diced onions and cheese, in the other end was diced steak, refried beans and cheese. I worked methodically, bringing many years expertise to the situation. With the exception of the Guacamole I got all the dressings involved, blending textures and daydreams, sucking at my beer and wiping my forehead.....the rest is blurry...we paid and mumbled broken words of spanish to the woman of thanks...we wandered the streets in a daze..where did they learn how to do that...why were we leaving...I clutched the napkins in my pocket for proof...El Rey del Burrito; we thank you
D.
Posted by Drexler at 03:10 PM
October 29, 2005
Locombia
The whole body of work is on the coals
I went to bed with a dizzy eye
and woke as a spinning top
Ive either
vertigo
or malaria
and it doesnt really matter which
things to spitoon:
lomas a la piedra
in the highlands
chillin with my mosquito bites
no one can break a ten
although everything costs the same as 7-11
we drink beers with hookers and pimps
and speak in sign language
I order chinese food in spanish
and crack the glass
smoke bowls
as the police patrol
below
on the bus to Columbia
they stole my camera
out of my lap
with the james bond movetures
and though Ive lost my eyes
my fingers are still nimble
in columbia
the hills are tained with emeralds
and the girls are tickled with gold
even if the stamps in my passport
are like punchcard marks
and price of rum
is cranial
a journey without maps
and Im laying near the window
over the plaza
watching the schoolgirls wander
Im counting the cracks
in my theories
everywhere
is just somewhere else
to drink
Posted by Drexler at 05:59 PM
October 07, 2005
t minus: 4 Days
the rain clings to the screening that encloses the pool like a broke bitch. my frisbee is packed, along with half a dozen Bic lighters because we all know about the garbage they try to sell you in **.....
Yesterday I tried to buy travellers checks but the banks were up to their usual legal rape practices; trying to get four dollar for every hundred in checks, which wouldve cost me around $200 or so....so today I will drive 40 miles to the american express office in Ocala and get then for free (?)....I had a dream I was being chased by vampires all over the woods and inside a multi level resort..in the end I just gave in and let them suck my blood...i was tired of running...I could still carry on with me business as one of them..
4 more days until I get a new stamp in my passport...4 days until I get my ass in gear and start specualting the world again...4 days until I dont have to look at stupid white people...4 more days until my weight begin to drop...4 more days until I begin to live again
D.
Posted by Drexler at 07:54 AM
September 23, 2005
hurricane infin
out of beer, out of vodka, out of patience, running out of durable band-aids...gasoline nation will never consolidate the ride share for fear of loosing the ego matinee viewmaster...six dollars a gallon next week and sales will be business as usual...a memo from the pricemakers to the shippers: we can charge ANYTHING, keep the arrows pointed up, these junkies dont knowanyhting about weening off much less going cold turkey...a nation of mindless flag wavers who cant do without their greed and ignorance...
We hope to leave on the 13th of October for Peru, probably buy the tickets this weekend...Im ready for the laughing gas or the blade from a peasent in the coca fields...anything would suit me better than an american failure, to sustain life among the walking dead...all the shit in New Orleans will fetch a pretty penny for someone, but not I..Ill miss you, Cuba hat, and fat buddha...sorry you didnt make it to the free zone, your not missing much, but I wouldve enjoyed your familiar company...to the rest; we did what we could and it is never enough...home is just a four letter word, with about as much substance as a burger from McDonalds
D.
Posted by Drexler at 08:21 AM
September 17, 2005
stuck inside florida with the nawlins blues again
living with the parents when they are not your own; a dismal affair. With each beer that i crack, I send out feelers to find if their ears are sensitive to the sound, if they are privy to the information that my constant guzzling conveys. We have enough money in tow to escape this situation, this country, as soon as we can get back to New Orleans and collect some various items that matter...when that will be?...when WILL that be?? How long can I live the same day over and over...20 miles from the closest corner market...last picture show starts at 7:20??!!..grocery store closes at 8:30...if they arent obese trailer trash they are 80+ year old, moving at the speed of my irritation...there is no one else here, nothing in-between, either dinosaurs or....dinosaurs.
I try to picture Peru on the projection screen in my mind. I try to imagine my waistline slimming down to something noteable, I imagine the taste of freedom and the escape from this gutteral nation that turns me over the gallows or something like that
Life is just on hold until my curfew is lifted....
drink up
Posted by Drexler at 08:53 AM
August 27, 2005
Hurricane Katrina
The Hurricane is coming to kill us and knock my barbeque over.
We will probably be flogged sometime Sunday evening and found sometime during the following week. I blame this on Mars
Good Luck with your own lives
Steven D.
Posted by Drexler at 02:59 PM